5th Sunday of Lent: Released from the Tomb, Jn 11:1-45

03-26-2023Weekly ReflectionFr. Bing Colasito

During my 30-day Ignatian retreat, my spiritual director asked me if I ever brought my anger issue into my prayer. For almost two decades at that time, I was constantly wrestling with the demon of anger. There is a problem with holding anger in one’s heart: Holding on to anger is like having it in the palm of your hands, like a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone; you are the first to get burned. The teacher who put me down and embarrassed me in front of everyone did not even know the extent of the psychological trauma I suffered. All those years, I have not forgiven him.

I became an angry kid and later an adult. For many years I was in the tomb of hatred toward that person; as a defense mechanism, I took the stance not to allow anyone to put me down, ever. Anger was my vicious weapon against perceived enemies. When I brought everything to God in prayer, with my spiritual director’s guidance, I finally came out of the tomb of my imprisonment and received the grace of forgiving from/with a heart. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. It was the most liberating experience of my life; forgiveness sets me free. I forgive because God has forgiven me first.

The story of Lazarus reminded me that I was a dead man all through those years that anger consumed me. Like Lazarus, who was dead for three days, it was almost two decades for me. People spoke to me about life, but I was deaf to it. After I brought everything to Jesus, I heard what He said: Come out Lazarus. Jesus broke open the stone that covered the entombed me in my anger, replacing my stony heart with a heart of flesh. Looking back on my attempts to conquer my anger, I became aware of the methods I used to end the many faces of anger in my life. 1.) I tried to stop it through my efforts; but was unsuccessful. 2.) I brought Jesus into the picture - by bringing it into prayer, and the grace of forgiving from the heart happened.

Sometimes we forget that we can never be truly successful without the help of God. Help me, O Lord my God! Save me by Your loving-kindness. Let them know that this is Your hand and that You, O Lord, have done it (Ps. 109:26-27). Yes, Lord! Without you, I can do nothing. Nothing is impossible to You. People experience freedom from the tombs of their imprisonment; if only they would allow Jesus to break the stone covering these tombs or invite Jesus into their lives. As Martha said to Jesus: Lord if you had been here, my brother would not have died. Another way of saying, my brother died because You were absent in His life.

Death brings forth fruits of new life. Eventually, we all will die. The good thing about our faith is we have the Resurrection - we will not die in vain. Our final resting place, our tomb: is not the end. One of the prefaces of the funeral Mass says: Lord, for your faithful people, life is changed, not ended. Death is a mystery, and a mystery we understand only through FAITH. I pray that one day we hear the words of Jesus. Lazarus, come out. And emerge from the darkness of our tombs into the light of Christ, our true freedom, and allow our community to unbind us.

Lord, may my life be Thine, may my exit be kind, and may eternity be mine, through Your mercy divine! Amen!